Monday, September 27, 2010

Music Heals

It's been a little over a week. The pain is still here. My heart still feels shattered, incomplete, and heavy. I cried on Friday. So many sad songs came on the radio. Just as I reached the small town where Patrick grew up.

I cried. Long and hard. Yes, I was that woman, parked on the side of the road. But it felt good afterward. To have let all of that emotion out. To just feel for a moment. No matter how raw, broken, and fragile it made me feel. I needed that. And here are a few of those songs that were playing on the radio...

I'm sure, this was Patrick's way of telling me that we were both going to be OK. He's in a better place. Not suffering any longer. And I, well I'm a better person for knowing Patrick. "Angels Among Us" will always remind me of Patrick. I told him for years and years, he was my "Angel on Earth." Now I know, I truly have an angel watching over my life. And as for the songs, they will always remind me of this amazing man that I got to call "friend." ♥

Sunday, September 26, 2010


Before Father's Day, I requested a song, on a popular Country Show, for my parents. I learned tonight, my request will be answered. I learned this, after I submitted another request. This one for Patrick. Here's what I wrote...

20 years ago, I met an amazing man. Someone that I grew to love like a second father. He was a close friend of our family. And in his own way, 20 years ago, he started to guide my life is such a positive direction.

As a young child, Patrick was an incredible mentor to me. I looked up to him. And I never wanted to disappoint him. Academics were always so important to him. Whenever he felt like I needed a push in the right direction, he'd sit me in his office and we'd talk. I also knew, whenever I needed to talk, he'd always make time for me. Regardless of how important his work titles got, he made the time.

Patrick became more and more important to my life as I got older. I went off to college. And quite often, I would call him for support. If there was a big decision to be made, I always asked his opinion. But our relationship went far past that. He was a dear friend, a mentor, someone I looked up to, and somewhere along the way, he became part of my family.

This man taught me so much about life. In my darkest days, he was there to shine light on my life. To encourage me to get up, and to continue on my way. He always encouraged my dreams and aspirations. Patrick was such a shining star in my life. The hope that I needed when I would give up on myself. And on the brightest of days, he was there to celebrate with me. To show how proud he was that I had accomplished one of my goals.

Sadly, on September 18, 2010, he lost his battle with cancer and pulmonary hypertension. I believe, Patrick was sent into my life, to encourage me and give me hope. To show me that all things are possible, with a little bit of faith and a lot of hard work. I lost a dear friend, but I gained so very much by knowing Patrick. He was the answer to so many of my prayers. Patrick showed me, taught me, and guided me through so much of my life. Now, I have an angel who will forever watch over me.

Can you please play Alabama's "Angels Among Us." I had the opportunity to know an angel. And this song will forever remind me of Dr. J. Patrick Garcia. Even in his death, he is working to make our world a better place.

It's crazy how the world works. But I do hope that this request is picked. What a great man Patrick was. And I hope to spread the word, of what an incredible man Patrick was. One day, I am going to do something big to celebrate his life. And to help his legacy continue. But until that day, I can tell a little bit of his story. ♥

Friday, September 24, 2010

Halloween Crochet

Look at how cute these Halloween projects are! So cute and simple. And something that I really want to make. :)

This cute bear all dressed up.

A decoration for a candle. Just perfect!

These cute finger puppets for your favorite little ones.

A fun ghost.

And this cute spider!

These are all the free crochet patterns, from Free Crochet, from this past week. It gets me really excited! I can't wait to start crocheting. Because that means I'll get to start decorating. And I really do LOVE Halloween! ♥

Thursday, September 23, 2010


That's the number of times I've been proposed to. The honest proposals. The ones that count. Not the ones from fans, as we put on a show.

12. It seems like a HUGE number. There were 6 men. And I'm the "Forever Single Woman." How does this happen? How does a woman like me, get proposed to 12 times? And how am I still single?

Let's start with the conversation that my Mom and I had tonight. We were talking about life things. Things that are burdening my heart and soul. We were talking about life. And family. And out of the blue, she asked me, what I would do if someone proposed to me. When I told her that someone had, she about died. I just told her, I wasn't ready yet. That's all I said.

But the truth of the matter is this, 6 men have asked me, a total of 12 times. Will #13 be the lucky number? Will I continue to run? Do I have a problem to work through?

12 times you ask? What happened? Sanchoncito...he asked me to marry him 4 times! Oh, and I didn't count that time we ALMOST got married in Sin City...

Sanchoncito asked me to marry him, the first time, after he landed his first big job. Before he moved. I didn't want to hold him back. So I let him go. It broke my heart. But it was the right thing to do. He asked me again, right before my Uncle Al died. I remember it clearly. We had just finished a big concert. The 2 of us were sitting by the pool. He wanted nothing more than for me to become his wife. And to move to Florida to be with him. But life happened. The 3rd time was the night of Linda and Gabe's wedding. I think he was caught up in the "Magic" of the night. And the 4th time came right before he left for Mexico.

I loved him so much. Heck, I know that I still love him. But our lives have just never been at the same place, at the same time. It just never worked out. Although, I have to say, the rings have gotten better every time he's asked. ;)

Then there was J. He asked me 3 times. During the ups and downs of our friendship, I've always known that he's loved me. I just knew. From the moment that we met. And he's always been here for me. 3 times, he asked me to be his wife. He wants to take care of me. He wants to be the man that I love. He wants a family. And he wants nothing more than to love me, full heartily. Body and soul, he wants us to be one.

3 times, in that gorgeous Southern accent, he's asked me to be his wife, the mother of his children, his partner in life. 3 times, I stared into his gorgeous green eyes. Trying to come up with a reason to not marry him. And nothing came to mind. Not a thing! But it always ended the same. With me saying no. With me walking silently away, tears streaming down my cheeks, and me driving away. I didn't have a reason to NOT marry him. But I didn't know how to say yes either.

Twice my boss, "Daddy Warbucks" has asked me to marry him. Twice! The "Billionaire Extraordinaire" from my hometown, has asked me to be his bride. He told me that he loved me. He didn't know how or when it happened. Only that it had happened. Yes, he asked 2 times. At the top of his world. Overlooking the beautiful city, where he lives. Two times, I had to tell him, he was in love with the idea of being married. Not with the woman-child that was standing in front of him.

Once Albert asked me. I'm not sure what prompted it. I don't know where the feelings were coming from. Or if things had changed between us. But he asked. A beautiful antique ring in hand. He got down on one knee, and asked me to love him forever. I was stunned! I didn't know what to say. I made him stand up. And gently told him that we needed time to think about this. I honestly didn't know what to say.

Omar asked once too. I think he was just feeling lonely. At a time in my life, when I was also lonely. And it could have been so easy to have said yes. To have told him yes. But I thought better of my answer. I thought about the emotional state he was in. And I gently told him no. Because I know he is still not ready for that step in his life.

And once, a man completely took me by surprise. Mr. "Blue Eyes." I went out East to work. The band went to work. I had known my boss and friend for over 2 years at this point. We had become close friends. We talked a lot. We didn't see a lot of each other. Because we live a mere 1745 miles from one another.

But during our last trip, as a band, to the East, I was shocked. One night that we were there, everyone was asleep. Of course, I couldn't sleep. And I didn't want to wake up my best friend. Or anyone else in the house. So I went outside. I sat on the porch. And just looked out into the darkness. Mr. "Blue Eyes" was also awake. On the opposite side of the house. And when he heard his dog, he came to investigate.

Before I knew it, we were driving to another part of his property. In the middle of the night. In our PJs. We ended up at a beautiful clearing. So beautiful! The moon was shining just perfectly. And it was so incredibly quiet and peaceful. The 2 of us stood there looking around us. We were in the middle of nowhere. But it was perfect!

He started to tell me all these things. About how much he loved me. About how he could see us having a future together. How this was the spot that he wanted to build his "Forever Home" one day. The day that he found "The One," and they began their life together. This was the place were he wanted to build his future and his family. He pulled out the most incredibly ring I've ever seen in my life. Ever! Sparkling in the moonlight. He got down on one knee and asked me to be his "Forever."

I was honestly stunned. Without words. I didn't know what to do. Or what to say. We'd never dated. Yes, we'd spent time together. We had talked a lot. We had become amazing friends. But beyond that, I just didn't have anything to go on. I mean, how could I move across the country, for this man? Did he really love me? Did I love him? Could we spend our lives together?

I sank to my knees. So we could be face to face. I held his face in my hands. I said nothing. I just held his face. Our foreheads pressed against each others. The tears spilling from my eyes. I just knew, it wasn't right at this time. I never said a thing. I just stared into his eyes.

There you go. 6 amazing men. 12 incredible times. Me? I'm still single. Ridiculously, almost painfully, single. I'm not sure. How does this happen? Am I the problem in every situation? Why do men feel the need to ask me this incredible question? Out of these men, I've only ever dated one. Funny thing, Sanchoncito and I were never dating during the 4 proposals. Or the one "Almost Wedding."

Maybe I was meant to be "Forever Single." Or maybe I haven't met "The One." Maybe I just needed some time to "Find Myself." I'm finally feeling more "Complete and Whole." You know, as a person. Maybe this is what I needed. Some time to grow and become the woman I was meant to be. I just hope, that now, there is a man willing to ask me those four simple words. ♥

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Crazy Neighbor?

I've been thinking about this. Because it really did scare me. And it's really out of the ordinary for my neighborhood...

Yesterday, we got back to town. It's been a crazy couple of days. Heck, I can go out on a limb and say, it's been a crazy couple of weeks! But we made it back. Sanchoncito came back with us. Completely unexpected, because I thought he was going back to Mexico. But as you will find out, I was so completely grateful that he came back.

From the airport, we had an hour drive home. And I rode with Memo and Cari. They dropped me off at my house, and I'm assuming, went home. I was completely exhausted! All I wanted to do, was get home and get some studying done, pack a bag for today, and crawl into bed. I should have gone with my instincts...

Well, I felt gross from the flight and decided to take a quick shower. Don't think I'm crazy, but I went to my car for my comfy sweats. Yes, I have an overnight bag in my car. Because many times, I get a call and have to go on a road trip in a few minutes. Or I get stuck at work. Yes, working at a hospital is insane! And it requires a bag of clothes and basic grooming products. So I went to my car. Which is parked in my carport.

As I was walking from the carport back to my front door, my neighbor past by. And like every other day, I waved. I wave to all the neighbors. Heck, I wave to the people that walk and run through our neighborhood in the mornings. I live in a friendly neighborhood. But not like most days, my neighbor stopped. And he introduced himself. His name is John. At least, I think it's John. And he's lived in his house for 4 years? I think that's what he said. He also told me that another one of our neighbors had died. Very sad. That's 2 neighbors in less than 10 days!

Like my friend that lives across the way, he told me that if I ever need anything, just "holler." I said OK. He sounded nice. And it was actually nice, to finally talk to this man, that I always wave to. Before he left, he mentioned that he was going to be roasting some green chili and grilling some ribs. It was for his kids' birthdays. He's a 30 something year old, single dad. They were having a nice meal that night. He asked if I liked ribs, and I said yes. I wasn't going to lie. He asked, I answered. I thought nothing of it.

Well, he left. And I went back into my house. And before getting into the shower, I decided that I should probably go workout first. Because I had a feeling, that the rest of the day, was going to be pretty lazy. Let's face it, my suitcase was still sitting next to the front door. In the exact place, I had left it. So I changed clothes, and went for a run.

When I got home, the little old lady next door, came out of her house. She looked a little shocked. And she told me that John had come by my house. Looking for me, she guessed. He knocked and hollered for me. Which scared her. And she came outside to see what was going on. She told him that I had left. So he eventually left.

About an hour later, I got home. That's when I talked to the little old lady. I was confused. I had no idea what was going on. But I was tired. And covered in sweat and dirt. So I decided to go shower. And right after, I fell asleep. I'm not going to lie. I was exhausted. And when I woke up, it was evening time. I figured, I'd get some yard work done. You know, it consumes my life. This yard is just too big for one person. But I needed to water and get some of the weeds pulled. So I changed into some "too big for me" jeans and an old t-shirt. I fought with the hose, which busted, while on. I dug up some grass in the flower beds. And tried to water some of my plants and flowers.

John came over just as I was wrestling the old hose out of the shed. The little gate was locked. I was on the gated side of the fence. Completely covered in mud. John couldn't get to my side of the fence, because the gate was locked. But he came with arms full of food. A frozen container of enchilada sauce, some bags of freshly roasted green chili, a plate of ribs, and a bucket of fresh eggs. Um, what?

I didn't remember saying that I needed food. But I was being polite. Heck, Jan next door, used to always bring me food. Granted that we knew each other really well, and at least sat and talked once a week. But like I said, I live in a friendly neighborhood. Heck, the entire town is friendly like this! I told John "Thank You." It was way more than he should have done.

He continued to talk. About some fire pit that he has behind his house. And how he was going to be having a fire that night. OK. Well, he invited me. And I told him that I would probably be working and studying...maybe next time. Again, I was trying to be polite. All I could think about was getting some sleep.

He left. I went back to working. I unlocked the gate. Watered the plants and flowers in the front. I left the gate open while I had the sprinkler on in the front yard. Because the other hose had busted, I had to leave the gate open. And I continued to pull weeds in the side yard. But near the back. John came back again.

This time, he was walking. And he came to bring me his phone number. Just in case I ever needed it. I thought this was insane. But whatever. Other neighbors had given me their phone numbers. But we had known each other for a while. And we lived closer. And took care of each other's homes. At this point, I was just tired. And trying to get my yard work done. John kept talking. I kept pulling weeds. But I was starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable. Finally he left.

I was uncomfortable, tired, and hungry. The mosquitoes were biting me. And well, I was ready for a break. Heck, it was already almost dark. So I put all my tools away. Locked up all the gates. And headed inside. I put some enchiladas together, threw them in the oven, and put some rice to cook. Then, I headed to go take a shower. Remember, I was covered in mud!

Just as I got in the shower, I heard someone banging on the screen door. And then on the front windows. Screaming, "Hey! Anyone there?" Um, I had just gotten in the shower. I was tired. I wanted to have dinner. It was nearly 9PM! I just wanted to scream "GO AWAY!" But I was in the shower.

I tried to ignore him. But I guess the light from my laptop was enough to keep him there yelling. The entire house was dark. Except the light from my laptop, which was sitting near a front window. And the light from the bathroom. Which you can't see from the front of the house.

I showered. Heck if I know how long I was in there. I was tired. And seriously, I was falling asleep while trying to shower. Every time I would hear him yell, it woke me up. And the dogs were going nuts outside. I showered, got dressed, turned off the stove, turned off the oven, and quietly made my way to lay down. I really didn't want to deal with this man. I maneuvered through my dark house, and just laid down.

And I lay in bed for at least 30 minutes. The dogs are going nuts! And I was getting frustrated. Seriously man, if I'm not answering the door, and 95% of the lights are off, it's time to go home. But he wouldn't. As I was getting ready to call my "Cop Friend," who lives down the other side of the street, I heard my other neighbors get home. The little old man, from across the street, came to my rescue!

He cussed out John. Told him he had 30 seconds to get off my property or he was going to call the cops. I love that old man! John and the little old man began yelling at each other. It was getting crazy. And I think more people were becoming aware of the situation. So John finally left. The dogs quieted down. And I still lay there. Not moving. In complete darkness. I was scared. My neighbors probably assumed I wasn't home. Lots of times, I catch a ride with a doctor to the hospital. Or I walk to school. Or something of the sort. It's not uncommon to see my car at my house, and I'm not home.

But what was up with this man? I didn't ask him to bring me the food. Heck, it's all in the freezer. Not sure I'm going to be eating it. I didn't invite him to my house. And I didn't tell him that I was going to his house. He is sure nuts. Don't you think?

Well, sometime after 10PM, I was still scared. And not getting a damn thing done. Just laying in bed. In complete silence and darkness. Just waiting for this crazy man to come back. So I called Sanchoncito. Who I knew, was at his own house. He could tell I was scared. The second I said "Hello," I could hear him turn off his TV, and head out the door. I didn't ask him to, but he was coming over.

In record time, 10 minutes later, Sanchoncito was at my front door. I had never been so happy to see this man! As he pulled into my driveway, I peeked out the window. Relief took over my body. I ran to the front door, and I hugged him. I let him into my house, and I told him what had happened. He thought the entire situation, was just as crazy as I did. Sanchoncito told me, there was no way he was leaving me there alone, for the night.

Just as we were sitting down to watch some TV, John came back. Was banging on the windows. Screaming for me. I freaked out. Sanchoncito got up. He told me to lock the door behind him. He went out the front door, I locked it, and he went out the locked porch. I could him them arguing. And I called my "Cop Friend." He was on duty. And actually down the road. Lights and sirens on, he was in front of my house before we got off the phone.

He came and told John he needed to leave immediately. And if he was caught there again, if there was any trouble at my house, or anything whatsoever happened at my house, they would be going after him. John was beyond mad! I think he honestly figured that Sanchoncito and I were dating or something. He wasn't happy that I wouldn't answer the door for him, but this other man, I let him in.

My "Cop Friend" took a bunch of information down. Made sure I wasn't going to be alone. We talked about my schedule for the next 2 weeks. And he assured me that he'd be patrolling around the neighborhood and taking extra care around my house. He also made sure that Sanchoncito was going to be around for at least a week. No one wanted me to be alone. Then he left.

Sanchoncito knew I had to leave early this morning. Knew I had to work. But he didn't want me to stay at my house alone. So he stayed with me. I made him come with me to my room, so I could pack my bag. It was like I expected John to pop out from under the bed or from the closet. And then Sancho took my bag to my car. I then had to do some work for the hospital, and Sancho sat quietly reading some book I had on my bookshelf.

I was still too rattled to sleep, so we watched whatever dumb shows come out in the middle of the night. It was that bad! He sat on the couch. I was on the rocking chair. It really didn't help that it was super windy outside too. There was a big storm blowing in. And before I knew it, I was sitting right next to Sanchoncito. Every noise scared me. When in the world did I become so scared? I swear, I've lived here for 9 years. I've never been scared. I've never been afraid to be alone. Last night, I was practically sitting in Sanchoncito's lap.

Well, eventually, I fell asleep. On the couch. Sancho stayed awake. I think he feared that I'd sleep through my 4AM wake up call. He sat in the dark. On the rocking chair. I remember this, because at some point during the night, I saw him sitting there. I slept on the couch. Aren't we hilarious? I have a 3 bedroom house. And I sleep on the couch.

At 4AM, Sanchoncito came to wake me up. I swear, I about died. I don't know what I thought. If someone had gotten in. Or what. But I freaked. Sanchoncito calmed me down. But he could tell, this man had freaked the crap out of me!

I got ready. Sanchocito made us some breakfast. Um, does it count if he just made instant oatmeal? Ya, it does. Because that's all I really had in my house. And I got ready to leave. Sanchoncito and I locked up my house, and he checked out my car. I got in. He got in his truck. And he followed me to the gas station, and then out of town. Literally, he followed me for about 20 miles, before turning around, and heading back to his house. He just wanted to make sure I was going to be OK.

But this has really freaked me out. Like what am I supposed to do? Should I call the cops and report it? Should I tell him to leave me alone? Will the dude go all psycho on me? Should I keep my trap shut? Maybe I should just call my "Cop Friend" and ask his opinion.

Honestly, why do all the weirdos find me? Yes, I have four restraining orders already. Two weirdos found me at school. Both girls. Both insane! The other two are for crazy family members. I stopped going to church at 7AM, because of that weird old man. Now this? What do I do? I mean, I don't feel safe in my own home now.

Tonight, I'm staying at my parents' house. Because I'm working in town today. And tonight is Patrick's Rosary. But I really don't want to go home. I have to. But I don't want to. And I highly doubt that Sanchoncito, is still going to be there for a few more days.. Even if he is there, what am I going to say? Can you stay at my house? You know, I'm scared...

Um, I can't do that. I could stay at his house, or at J's. Heck even Memo's. But what would that solve? I would still feel uncomfortable at my house. And I don't want to tell my parents. They'd freak out. So I think I'm just going to enjoy the safety here, tonight. And tomorrow, I'm going to go see my "Cop Friend" when I get home. He's a professional after all. I'm sure he'll know what to do. ♥

Monday, September 20, 2010

He's My Soft Place to Fall

Yesterday, I got 5 calls from my parents. In about a 4 minute time frame. All followed by a page. Then a pretty serious text. But I was on my way to Javi's wedding. With all my friends and their kids. Not the best time to take the call. I knew it was going to be serious. More than likely, bad news.

As soon as the wedding was over, and Sanchoncito and I had sang, I made my way to that little room. It's small, with the old fashioned seats. And a small vanity. I'm supposing, that is where the bride waits, before the walk down the aisle. I went to make "the call."

I didn't notice, Sanchoncito was right behind me. We hadn't had a chance to talk that day. Earlier in the day, we past each other, in the hall of the hotel. But I was trying to help my friends with their kids. And I missed him. We met at the Chapel that evening. But again, we were busy. We were trying to help friends get situated. And get ourselves warmed up for the wedding. And we just didn't talk. No familiar hug...

But at that moment, all that was on my mind was "the call" I had to make. And I made "the call." I got the incredibly sad news. I tried so hard to hold it together. I was brave. I bit my lip as my Mom told me that Patrick had past on. The day before. And my mind was suddenly overflowing with memories of this incredible man. I didn't want to fall apart while talking to my Mom. But the minute I hung up, I fell apart. Patrick was so incredibly special to me. This is such a HUGE loss!

And who was there for me? Sanchoncito. I hung up the phone. The tears came streaming down. And he came to scoop me up. I was like this little rag doll that he just picked up. He just let me fall apart. He let me cry. Like the "old days." When I was falling apart, during some tragic part of my life. Like when my aunt and my uncle past away.

It was so welcoming and comforting. He was the soft, warm place I needed to land. Isn't that crazy? The man who I haven't really talked to in a year and a half. The man that I got into a huge fight with over a year ago. The man that I told, I never wanted to see or speak to again. The same man that was so very rude last Fall. The man that my friends couldn't stand, and my boss punched, in the middle of our rehearsal. The same man that I barely talked to that very day. The same man that I had just sang "Somos Novios" with. And looked me in the eye like he used to. That man.

I don't know what I would have done without him. Because I really did fall apart. I cried for what seemed like a lifetime. I kept replaying memories of Patrick in my head. Thinking to myself, I'm never going to get to talk to him again. He's never going to give me another hug. We're never going to get to take picture #2, 3, and 4. He's never going to visit my home. I'm never going to be able to bake him another cake. He's never going to call me Ms. D___ again. He will never see me accomplish my goals. The same goals that he encouraged. I was devastated. My world felt so empty.

And in those moments, this man held me. Let me cry. Didn't ask what had happened. Was just there for me. It makes me wonder. Is he the one I'm supposed to be with for a lifetime? Who else would just be there like this? Who else would hold me that tight, and literally try to carry the weight of the world for me? Where else could I feel this safe?

As my tear soaked face sank deeper into his chest. As my breathing was labored. As my world was crumbling around me. He just held me. At one point, I know someone came into the room. Who? I have no clue. He just whispered, that we'd get to the reception on our own. The door closed. And he held me tighter. Like my life honestly depended upon it.

When I was done crying. When my tears had dried up. And my breathing began to return to normal, he placed his forehead against mine and whispered, "Amorcita, is there anything I can do?" The look in his eyes, so honest and sincere. That was the man I had once loved, with my entire heart and soul. The man, that I once imagined I would spend my life with. We'd have babies and grow old together. Always singing and playing together. At one time, I had thought that would be our life.

Ironically, I had once talked to Patrick about Sanchoncito. About the amazing man that I could tell was stealing my heart. The man that I was giving my heart to. But his few thoughtful words, in that instant, they opened the flood gets yet again. And Sanchoncito held me even tighter. Tucked my head under his chin, and wrapped his arms around me. It was like, he has been the only person, who has completely understood me.

We sat there for what felt like hours. I don't know how long it was. Just that he was my soft place to fall. He held me together. He didn't mind the tear stained shirt. Or the lipstick on his tie. He didn't mind that I stole his handkerchief because I had no Kleenex. And that we missed the cocktail hour, of one of his best friend's wedding. He didn't mind and didn't care about those details. He only cared about the woman that was falling apart. His only concern was making me feel better. He didn't mind those other things. At last, I was attempting to regain my composure, as he called for a car. A car that he had to pay for. And on the way from that little room to the wedding reception, all I needed was to hold onto his hand. He didn't mind. He was perfect.

It's crazy. So much has happened. So much time has past. He has angered so many people. Most of all...he had angered me to my very core. I was even disappointed in him and the things he was doing. We haven't talked in such a long time. But last night, he made sure I was OK. He stood by my side almost all night. He never told anyone what happened. Or asked me what that call was about. He gave me his mini dessert plate. Just to get me to smile. And put a pretty red rose in my hair. He helped me with all of our friends' kiddos. And managed to find me some ice cream to go with the yummy cake. Just for me.

When I needed a break, he came with me outside. And just sat there. Let me be. We danced. I danced with other friends. He got the musicians and DJ to play lots of my favorite songs. And I tried to enjoy the moment. Not for me, but for my friends. I tried to celebrate my friends. And their new marriage. When it became too much for me, Sanchoncito took over.

At the end of the night, he made sure I got to my room. With my favorite little girls in tow. We managed to get everyone to bed. And he sat with me. Looking out the window of my big hotel suite. Right outside these huge windows, the whole world was going on, like nothing had ever happened. This man, my shoulder to cry on, my soft place to land, my safe place, with the perfect nook for my head to land, was there for me. We sat. And watched the people move about. And I tears steadily rolled down my cheeks.

In the last 9 years, he's the person that has been there for me. Every single time that I've needed him. Every single time my world has exploded. When my Nanie got sick, and later my Auntie Chuchie. When I almost died in that car accident. Later that week, when my Auntie Chuchie died. When my uncle died a month later. That summer when I had surgery. And refused to tell my family. When I started working through my problems. When my Auntie Jo died. And then when my Uncle Al died. He was there. Always there.

I don't know if we'll ever get back to where we once were. Or if we were ever meant to be a couple. But I do know something, he is an amazing friend. Because no matter what has gone on between us, he's been here, when I need him. It scares me, to think that he might not be here one day. But for now, he's my soft place to land. And I'm glad I have him. ♥

Friday, September 17, 2010

Vegas Baby!

We're on our way to Las Vegas right now! Yes people, we almost missed our flight. But never fear, we made it!

I'm sitting here. Still with my hair up, red roses in, my big earrings, a full face of makeup, and a pair of sweats. Very glamorous for a red eye to Las Vegas. Albert is sitting next to me. Maribel is crashed out on top of him. I swear, we have the cutest Goddaughter ever!

And what are we all doing? We're going to Las Vegas to perform. Scratch that. The guys are going to finish teaching. I'm along for the ride. Because we're all performing in the big show, on Saturday night. And our friends are getting married on Sunday. A wedding that I'm singing at. With Sanchoncito. This should be interesting...

But I'm really looking forward to this mini trip of ours. I desperately need the money for school. I love to perform. I LOVE Mariachi. I'm getting the chance to go to Javi's wedding. And I get to spend time with all of my favorite Ninitos. :)

That to me, sounds like an amazing time. And I get home just in time for school and work. What more can I ask for? Um, a nap. So I'm going to go. We have a little while left in the air. And I'm going to sleep. Because apparently, I'm one of the last people still awake on this flight. And sleep, well it just sounds really nice, after the long day of work that we had. ♥

Thursday, September 16, 2010

His Birthday and a Little Singing

Today is the "Cowboy's" birthday. How do I know? Because he called me this morning. When I was on my way home. He just felt like talking. And he was getting ready to head home. For a class or something.

How did I find out it was his birthday? Because as we were talking, one of his buddies wished him a Happy Birthday. The funny thing was, he was trying to make me feel better. You know, after all the work I've been doing. And all the stress I've been under. He is just too sweet.

Our conversation actually started with him singing me "Good Morning Beautiful." He honestly is just too sweet! And he really does make my days better. Just with little calls like this one. As soon as he started to sing the words, a smile just came across my face. It's still there! :)

I feel bad though. Because I didn't know it was his birthday. I didn't get him a card or anything. I'm going out of town tomorrow. You know the drill. But I promised to make him a big birthday cake. I just didn't think it out though. How I was going to get it to him?

Before we hung up, I sang Happy Birthday to him. I swear, if I could have seen his face, it would have been bright red! I could just see that sideways smile of his. And I probably would have seen the twinkle in his eyes. You know, some people are just born with that. But he shyly told me "Thank you." He never expected that I'd really sing to him. You could honestly hear the happiness in his voice.

But more than anything, I hope he has a great birthday! He really is an amazing man. Generous, sweet, and caring. There are not many men out there like him. Trust me. As a single woman, I know this. But today, I just want him to have a nice day. Happy Birthday Handsome!